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American Horror Story: Coven Recap: Shocknado
Photo Credit: TV Line

American Horror Story: Coven Recap: Shocknado

Oct 23 2013, 10:24pm CDT | by TV Line

Every time you even think about telling yourself that “The Replacements” — this week’s kinktastic American Horror Story: Coven — can’t possibly get any more demented, it does. Not only are we (trick...

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51 weeks ago

American Horror Story: Coven Recap: Shocknado

Oct 23 2013, 10:24pm CDT | by TV Line

Every time you even think about telling yourself that “The Replacements” — this week’s kinktastic American Horror Story: Coven — can’t possibly get any more demented, it does. Not only are we (trick or) treated to not one but two “Oh no they didn’t!” hook-ups, we also get the surprising murder of… Well, you’ll see. Keep reading.

PHOTOS | American Horror Story Season 4 (and Beyond): 7 Possible Premises 

THE OL’ WITCHEROO | The episode opens with Fiona flashing back to 1971 and her merciless assassination of her Supreme (the awesome Christine Ebersole), then in present-day lamenting her fading power and beauty. (Which of course would be more believable if Jessica Lange weren’t the sexiest sixtysomething on the planet!) To add insult to injury, the enchantress is told that, because of her poor health, she’s ineligible for plastic surgery. So, by the time she’s singled out Madison as the next Supreme and taken her under her wing, we’re well and truly set up to think she means it when she asks the movie starlet to stab her. “Kill me for the sake of the coven,” she begs — and then turns the tables on the gullible girl and kills her! “Bury her deep,” she instructs Spalding. “God knows what all that s*** in her body will do to the lawn when it comes up in the spring.” The idea — Madison replacing Fiona! “This coven doesn’t need a new Supreme,” scoffs our one and only, gazing at her would-be successor bleeding on the floor. “It needs a new rug.”

FEELING “HORNY” | To, ahem, “help” Delphine adjust to the modern world — she’s reduced to tears by the discovery that we have an African-American president — Fiona makes her the school’s new maid. (Uniform and all!) But, as you’d expect, “Miss Aryan Sisterhood” balks at the notion of serving Queenie. So Fiona again steps in, informing the human voodoo doll that she now has her own personal slave. What none of them realize at that moment is that Queenie’s new slave comes with a bonus: Delphine draws Marie Laveau’s minotaur to their doorstep. “How the hell is a scary monster a bonus?” you ask. It’s a bonus because, knowing his history, Queenie guesses that he’s a kindred spirit, and instead of try to drive him away, lures him into Cordelia’s shed, diddles herself and breathlessly asks, “Don’t you wanna love me?” (Which, we are given the distinct impression, he does. Yikes! PETA! PETA, where are you when we need you?!)

MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH DANGER? | Upon learning that Kyle’s trashy mother was ready to commit suicide following his demise, Zoe interrupts her would-be beau’s snuggling session with Misty to bring him home. “You can’t just replace me!” Misty yells when not babbling about how Stevie Nicks was never really herself until she found “her tribe.” But replace her, Zoe seems intent on doing. What she doesn’t know — and we are soon horrified to learn — is that Kyle’s mom went so nuts without him because she was so nuts with him. In a truly squirm-inducing scene, she kisses her son in a wholly inappropriate way and then does other things to him that are even less appropriate. (My eyes! My eyes!) By the time Zoe returns to check up on her handiwork, Kyle has bashed his abuser’s head in with a trophy. (May Fiona never consider him as a potential plastic surgeon.)

BABY TALK | Her magical attempt at getting pregnant a failure, desperate Cordelia turns to Marie Laveau for help. There is a spell that will do the trick, Marie says. All it takes is a 2 oz. jar of her husband’s “baby gravy,” a hot pepper, a sacrificial lamb, a new moon and $50,000. (Wouldn’t it be cheaper, less hassle and much kinder to animals to adopt at the next casting call for Teen Mom?) No problem, says Cordelia, even though she has no idea where she’s going to come up with that much money. Oh, but there is a problem, cackles Marie. No way, no how will she perform the spell… because she hates Fiona! (Snap!)

STRIP TEASE | In the hour’s other big plot — though it seems smallish in retrospect, especially in comparison to bestiality, incest, murder and matricide — religious nut Joan (Patti LuPone) and her blandly hunky son, Luke, move in next door to Miss Robichaux’s. “He’s so backed up,” Madison observes (prior to her death, of course), “all I’d have to say is ‘panties,’ and he’d jizz his jeans.” Natch, when she and Nan roll out the welcome wagon, it doesn’t end well. There’s a bit of a fire, and the knife Madison sends flying Joan’s way misses by mere inches. (“She has to work on her aim,” Fiona smirks.) Maybe it’s just as well Madison kicked the bucket: Luke seems to prefer Nan, anyway.

Okay, your turn. What did you think of the episode? Does your jaw hurt from dropping over and over? Hit the comments!


Source: TV Line

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1 week ago

American Horror Story: Watch Season 4 Episode 1 Online

Oct 9 2014 4:16am CDT | Source: TV Fanatic

Welcome to the Freak Show, American Horror Story Fanatics. FX treated viewers to the latest rendition of its award-winning anthology series last night, as American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 1 took us back to Florida in the 1950s. We said hello to familiar names such as Jessica Lange and Kathy Bates, but they weren't exactly wearing familiar faces. Especially Bates. Her character has a beard. Michael Chiklis is also on board for American Horror Story: Freak Show, ...
Source: TV Fanatic   Full article at: TV Fanatic
 

 
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1 week ago

American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 1 Review: Monsters Among Us

Oct 8 2014 10:37pm CDT | Source: TV Fanatic

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't afraid of clowns. Now, as I think about going to sleep tonight, I'm terrified of them.  I didn't expect American Horror Story: Freak Show premiere to be the most frightening of the anthology series. It was more bone chilling than I remember any of the previous ones. It was the clown! Though, the killer Siamese twins and the angry Jimmy Darling didn't help either. American Horror Story Season 4 Episode 1 freaked m ...
Source: TV Fanatic   Full article at: TV Fanatic
 

 
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1 week ago

'American Horror Story: Freak Show' Premiere Recap: It's A Circus, All Right

Oct 8 2014 10:30pm CDT | Source: Huffington Post

*** WARNING: Contains spoilers! Please do not read on unless you've seen the premiere episode of "American Horror Story: Freak Show," titled "Monsters Among Us." Or if you don't mind spoilers, go right ahead! *** You know what they say: Florida is where the weirdest things happen. That certainly seems to be the case on "American Horror Story: Freak Show"; the premiere was all sorts of bats**t crazy, and despite its setting bac ...
Source: Huffington Post   Full article at: Huffington Post
 

 
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1 week ago

Meet Jyoti Amge, The 'World's Smallest Woman' From 'AHS: Freak Show'

Oct 7 2014 4:10pm CDT | Source: Huffington Post

Last week, FX introduced two "extra-ordinary" cast members of "American Horror Story: Freak Show" in mini-documentaries: Mat Fraser, who plays "Paul the Illustrated Seal," and Rose Siggins, who plays "Legless Suzi." In a new mini-doc, Jyoti Amge, the "world's smallest woman," according to the Guinness Book of Records, speaks about her role as Ma Petite, Elsa Mars ...
Source: Huffington Post   Full article at: Huffington Post
 

 
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1 week ago

Transgender Actress Erika Ervin On Her 'American Horror Story: Freak Show' Role

Oct 7 2014 3:58pm CDT | Source: Huffington Post

We couldn't be more thrilled for "American Horror Story: Freak Show" to kick off for numerous reasons, and learning that the hit FX franchise will welcome a transgender performer just makes our excitement for the show more palpable. Erika Ervin will star alongside series regulars Jessica Lange, Evan Peters and Emma Roberts as "Amazon Eve," a role she says was originally written for a man. "I auditioned for the part as a ...
Source: Huffington Post   Full article at: Huffington Post
 

 
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4 weeks ago

Take A Peek Under The Tent & Meet The Cast Of 'American Horror Story: Freak Show'

Sep 22 2014 11:01am CDT | Source: Huffington Post

The freak show is getting nearer, and we finally have a good look at its wild cast of characters. In new cast photos for "American Horror Story: Freak Show," we meet Jessica Lange's character, Elsa Mars, and her troupe of freaks, along with a handful of others. The only characters missing from this new set of photos are Gabourey Sidibe and Patti LaBelle, the terrifying Twisty the Clown and, of course, Pepp ...
Source: Huffington Post   Full article at: Huffington Post
 

 
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4 weeks ago

Ryan Murphy Is Worried 'American Horror Story: Freak Show' May Be Too Scary

Sep 20 2014 3:55pm CDT | Source: Huffington Post

Ryan Murphy is worried. He's really worried that you're going to get scared, and that your heart will possibly stop beating when you meet Twisty the Clown on the next season of "American Horror Story." And now we're really worried too ... In a recent interview with BuzzFeed, the creator of "American Horror Story" shared more details on the killer clown we're expected to meet in "Freak Show." Played by John Carroll Lynch, ...
Source: Huffington Post   Full article at: Huffington Post
 

 
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4 weeks ago

Skyler Samuels Joins American Horror Story: Freak Show Cast

Sep 17 2014 5:52am CDT | Source: TV Fanatic

Welcome to The Freak Show, Skyler Samuels. According to The Hollywood Reporter, The Nine Lives of Chloe King actress will appear on multiple episodes of American Horror Story Season 4 as “a local who finds herself in a tough situation.” That's all we know at the moment. About King's character, that is. But American Horror Story: Freak Show will premiere on October 8 and track Jes ...
Source: TV Fanatic   Full article at: TV Fanatic
 

 
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5 weeks ago

Pepper Is Officially Returning For 'American Horror Story: Freak Show'

Sep 11 2014 2:43pm CDT | Source: Huffington Post

We guessed it back in July, and we were right -- Pepper is returning to "American Horror Story"! Naomi Grossman's beloved microcephalic character from "Asylum" was rumored to return to "AHS" over the summer when an unofficial call sheet leaked. "Yes, she's back," FX confirmed to HuffPost after Entertainment Weekly broke the news. We'll official ...
Source: Huffington Post   Full article at: Huffington Post
 

 
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6 weeks ago

First Full 'American Horror Story: Freak Show' Trailer Is Here & It's Amazing

Sep 8 2014 7:40am CDT | Source: Huffington Post

Ladies and gentlemen, freaks of all types, the first full "American Horror Story" Season 4 trailer has arrived! There's a bearded woman! There's a woman with three breasts! But that's not all: There's a woman with two heads -- yes, ladies and gentlemen, two! Okay, our circus ringmaster voice is over. But seriously, the first full trailer -- compared to all of those short, terrifying teasers -- for "AHS: Freak Show" is here and it ...
Source: Huffington Post   Full article at: Huffington Post
 

 

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